Alright kids... so there's something you should know about me. Sometimes I may make everything harder than it needs to be. Why? Because, well, it's what I do well... and why not stick with what I'm good at? I have the God-given gift of being difficult. (And for those of you who know me... keep yo' thoughts to yo'self) It's one of my many strengths... along with being stubborn, over-dramatic, and outspoken... all topped with a nice dose of sarcasm to accentuate my best features.
So I've come to a fork in the road this past week and I have been putting off making a decision (I forgot to mention my incredible ability to procrastinate in the list above)... "waiting to let God put the pieces together." I've been praying that doors would be clearly opened or closed, but I may have been pounding down doors that were already shut... and locked... and bolted...
A mentor of mine had suggested to me that I find a biblical character to study... really look into their life and see what I can learn from their struggles and how God directed them. He thought Jacob could be a good fit. Jacob... the guy who made things he wanted to happen, happen, even if it meant draping himself in goat skin... the guy who was tricked into marrying an ugly chick and would settle for nothing less than her good looking sister even if it meant a few more years of slave labor... you know, the guy who wrestled with an angel and insisted on being blessed for it... the guy who wouldn't take no for an answer... who made everything harder than it needed to be...yeah... that guy. Sound familiar. Yeah well, I didn't think so either...
Well, here's the thing, I'm coming home from a friends last night, and another door closed... slammed actually... and let me tell you... it wasn't pretty. I hit a deer... in a big kind of way. Bumper? gone... Radiator? fully exposed... Headlight? MIA.... Car Hood... well, it's a little more shapely now... and the passenger door? inactive. The bottom line, the car is a goner. I'm trading in my wheels for an old pair of keds. Sweet.
So I packed up my belongings and moved back to the boro for the summer this morning... Why? Because I made things harder than they needed to be. Because I put off making a decision so I could have what I wanted... I guess I was wrestling on behalf of my own plans and expected God to bless me for it too. It was time to move forward... and I'd been standing at that fork for too long. The lesson? Well I guess if you're busy waiting at a fork in the road, watch out for unexpected deer... I don't know what yours will be called... but it seemed only fitting to name the poor soul Jacob.
Well... thanks a lot Jake... I guess we both got what we had coming...
You know I have been observing your whole situation and frustrations from the outside this whole time. And I'm pretty sure as soon as we hit that deer, and realized what had happened, I thought to myself, "Well there is some of the obvious direction she has been looking for."
ReplyDeleteDude. I don't want to say I told you so, but... Well, I did. Sorry about Judy.
ReplyDeletep.s.
It's kinda funny that God keeps using "Jacob" in your life... just saying.